How are gray divorces potentially different from others?

On Behalf of | Jan 15, 2025 | Divorce

The term gray divorce is somewhat new. People refer to divorces between spouses who remained married for years and who divorce in their 50s or later as gray divorces. The frequency with which gray divorce occurs has increased noticeably in recent decades. What was once a rare phenomenon is now one of the most common types of divorce. Those contemplating gray divorce often feel particularly anxious. They may not know what to expect from the process.

What potentially makes a gray divorce different from a divorce that occurs earlier in life between spouses who didn’t remain married for as long?

A marital estate may be more difficult to divide

The longer the spouses stay married to one another, the more shared or marital property they accumulate. Larger, more complex marital estates require a more intensive property division process. Spouses preparing for retirement or already done with full-time employment may have pensions and other retirement assets in their names.

They may own a home no longer encumbered by a mortgage, as well as a lifetime of personal property and other investments. It can be very difficult to separate those assets. Technically, the same baseline property division rules apply in a gray divorce.

However, the longer length of the marriage requires a very controlled and fastidious approach to property division to ensure a fair outcome. Additionally, there can be complications related to financial support due to one spouse having more separate property or higher earning potential than the other.

Emotions can be stronger after longer marriages

While the spouses preparing for divorce may feel very certain about their decision to divorce, they may still struggle with the process ahead of them. They may not have lived on their own for decades and may fear the future.

They may also have a hard time accommodating the emotional reactions of their inner circles. Adult children, in particular, often react very negatively to their parents’ gray divorce. They may take sides and blame one parent. Major disruptions to family dynamics are common in gray divorce scenarios.

The broader community may also be more judgmental or more likely to take sides in a gray divorce. Particularly in cases where a gray divorce occurs because of health issues or infidelity, there could be significant social fallout after the spouses announce their decision to divorce.

Those preparing for gray divorce often feel strongly about limiting the financial and social consequences of ending their marriages. They often need to approach the process in a very controlled and measured manner.

The sooner those contemplating a gray divorce acquire representation, the easier it may be for them to limit the expenses and frustrations possible in a gray divorce scenario. Understanding why gray divorce can be particularly complex can help people recognize why they may need assistance throughout the process for their own protection.