3 things children shouldn’t be asked to do during divorce

On Behalf of | Jul 5, 2024 | Child Custody & Legitimation

Children who are going through their parents’ divorce have a lot of major life changes to work through. Almost everything they’ve known their entire life is changing in what might seem like a split second.

It’s up to parents to provide children with an environment that encourages them to thrive. For example, the following three concerns are almost always be harmful to children, so parents should do what they can to avoid them.

Pass messages between their parents

Children shouldn’t ever be asked to relay messages between their parents. There’s too great of a risk of the message being relayed improperly. It’s also possible that the children will have to deal with an unfavorable reaction from their parents. Instead of trying to use the children as messengers, parents should speak directly to each other. This can be done through texts, emails, monitored parenting app messages, phone calls or any other method the parents agree to.

Spy on their parents

Some parents may be curious about what’s going on at their ex’s house, but they shouldn’t ever ask the children to be spies. What happens at the other parent’s house doesn’t matter unless it affects the health or safety of the children or if there’s something that violates the parenting plan. Children who are asked by one parent to spy on the other parent may feel like they need to choose sides.

Behave as mini adults

Parents sometimes fall into the habit of using their children as sounding boards, but this isn’t appropriate. Children deserve to live the life of a child because they aren’t miniature adults. There’s also a risk of them feeling stuck in the middle of their parents if one or both parents are badmouthing the other. Instead of putting children in this position, find a confidante to vent to when necessary.

Children need stability and consistency to thrive. When parents divorce, creating a solid parenting plan as quickly as possible is one step toward giving children what they need. This might be easier to get together with the help of a legal professional who is familiar with these situations.